Ugh... BOYS!

So if you didn't know, I have two brothers Matt and Michael. I am smack dab in the middle of the two of them (middle child, woot woot), so I know what it is like to live with boys. I have lived with an ex-boyfriend and two male roommates, and I did live with my little brother for a while, when my place was under "construction". But it has been almost a year since I have had to live with a male other than my dog.

The only man I will ever love... for now.  Well that all changed this weekend.... My minion Bernard, needed a place to crash for a month before he could move into his apartment, because he is a procrastinator and did not start looking until last week. It was a cool idea at first, but after a few hours of living with him I slowly realized why I do not like living with boys.  They can never aim when they pee. They say that they can, but let's face it nothing is grosser than when a half awake man misses the toilet bowl. I mean I can handle the seat being up, I am a big girl I can put the seat down. But seriously?? How do they manage to get pee on the floor?!  Dishes grow legs and walk around the house. You start to find cups and plates all over the place. And dishes multiply by the dozen when you live with a boy. WHY??? Because they eat NON STOP!  Which leads me to my next point of all of the good food goes missing. 
They steal your food. Want your Oreos to survive for more than an hour after buying them?? Better hide them before a boy manages to see them and "only have three." So in my house I stock nothing but healthy fruits and veggies, or in this case mushrooms, so that I actually can enjoy what I am eating.  They hog the bathroom. I am a girl who takes 15 minutes top to get ready. Boys though? They spend an hour fixing the few strands of hair that they do have. and when you come into the bathroom there is water and crap all over your mirrors, hair in your sink from them shaving, tooth paste on the counter top, and tissue everywhere. And chances are they did not flush the toilet.  They are whiney and smelly!! Men turn into big ass babies when they are tired or sick, and all of a sudden you are the magic care taker. So along with the dirty dishes you end up taking care of an infantile  full grown man.  Moral of the story, unless you marry them or are in a serious committed relationship don't let them move in. Anyone else think boys are dirty, gross individuals?