Why Spiders?

Why is it always spiders that sneak up on my ass in the most unsuspecting moments? I mean why can't it be butterfly's?? I am a total Ron Weasley when it comes to dealing with spiders. I run quickly, in fear. But the sad part about living by yourself, is that there is no one to wake up to kill the spider. 

So this morning I was casually looking for some shampoo because I literally ran out and did not feel like dry shampooing my hair, I went to look under my bathroom vanity minding my own darn business. Well as I started looking this eight legged, scary ass bastard dropped right in front of my face.

With him suspended in mid air, I did what any female in my situation would do. I screamed like a little girl and swatted at the air like I was magically going to kill him with my air swatting ninja skills. But Mr. Spider just pulled up onto the lip on my bathroom sink. 

Let me tell you this is the 5th spider in a month that has tried to attack me in my own home. And this morning when I realized what was happening, I didn't get scared and run for the hills. No, I got pissed because this little asshole thought he could just hide from me. Little did he know, I have seen Taken 1 & 2 Multiple times. 

So I went into my office and grabbed the necessary supplies for arachnid murder. A can of air, a flip flop, and a tissue. All of those items seemed like the equivalent of trash bags, some rope, and bleach; and all of those items would be necessary in seeking my revenge. 

Once I spotted Mr. Spider, I turned that can of air upside down, froze his little ass, and then slammed my flip flop down with the furry of a thousand suns (or is it sons?) 

I missed.

So I finally I just started randomly hitting the flip flop on the sink in several different spots. That worked. Victory was mine! 

Moral of the story? Don't be scared, and just randomly swat. In the end you will hit your target.

And because I feel pumped now and am at my physical office, I give you some slight angry music. Not hard core, but not the fluffy stuff that I have been putting on here.