Target Anonymous: The shopping tales of an Ex team member

If you hadn't guessed it already, T is for Target. Yup that magical place that feels like Disneyland, except more expensive. We all have a problem with Target, and let's face it it is a bloggers best friend. So let me start with my intro.

I have been a Target addict for many years now, but my problem really started when I became a Target team member. I started off as a lowly cashier, working my way into the hearts of my two absolutely gorgeous GSTL's  and proving that I had the chops to stay on past the holiday season. I bagged that merchandise with ease and was always friendly to guests. I was the spitting image of what every cashier should look like. Soon after I was told I was going to be welcomed in to the permanent Target family, I started going a little crazy. Buying an item here and there, all of the newest DVD's and then clothes. I am a sucker for Mossimo. And when I was introduced to the guest service desk, it became even more dangerous. 
This is what happens when you are a cashier.  beep, beep, beep.... that's a cute top, but so not worth the $30......  beep, beep, beep.... oh I need to get dog food, thank you for the reminder lady.... beep, beep, beep, beep..... OMFG those shoes! "Where did you find these heels? Oh next to the Converse?" SCORE! I am so getting those when my shift ends.  Beep, beep, beep.... oh you get a $10 gift card with that toilet paper, I need toilet paper....  beep, beep, beep... oh that necklace, I need that necklace. "Are you sure you no longer want this necklace?" please say no, please say no "No worries I will put it back for you." THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! And that is going in my drawer so that I can buy it on break...  beep, beep, beep.... Man this lady can spend some serious dough.....  "Thank you, don't forget to fill out our guest survey for your chance to win a five thousand dollar gift card." 
I thought I could beat my addiction by quitting, but then my new gorgeous GSTL boyfriend convinced me that I needed to go to the next level. I needed to become a GSTL. And my other absolutely (still to this day ) gorgeous GSTL, agreed. They were too handsome to say no to. 
Now for those of you who are sitting there like "What the fuck is a GSTL Kylea?" it stands for a Guest Service Team Lead. Now there are only two positions in a store for GSTL and then a Guest Service Associate (attendant?) or GSA. GSA's were just being introduced as I left for the second time so I am not completely sure on the job title. Guest Service Team Leads are in charge of the entire front end; meaning cashiers, guest service, photo, and you covered breaks for Food Ave. and Starbucks when needed. That and See.Spot.Save (technical name for the $1 spot) were your domaine. GSA's are the step above a cashier but not a team lead, because they are not cool enough. And  for those of you who caught the whole GSTL boyfriend, yea I made that happen. 
Now the thing that they do not warn you about when you are in charge of the front lanes is how easy it is to find stuff to buy. Plus the fact that as a team lead, you were able to see the next two weeks adds. And when you are randomly called in because another GSTL called out and you were the sucker who answered their cell, you have to buy a red shirt and pair of khaki's because of course you need something to wear. I was one of those employees who spent their entire check at work. And the lord knows it took everything in my power not to sign up for a Red Card and Target Check Card. If it weren't for that 26% interest rate, it would have happened. 
By the end of my Target Career I owned 32 plain red shirts. That didn't count all of the shirts that had designs or logos on them. And most, if not all of those shirts were Mossimo. I had also gone through a number of name badged (all of which I found after I left),  two instances of being pied in the face,  3 boyfriends, and a series of really bad stalkers. But I will save those tales for later. 
Currently, I am still stuck in my Target ways. I always hit the clearance, making sure to walk all of the end caps. I still scowl at employees who do not wear an earpiece for their walkies and push the annoying button on the cash registers when they are backed up. I even criticize employees who don't ask "Can I Help You Find Something?" And let's not forget me getting mad at people who give the cashiers a bad speed score by taking their sweet time pulling out the debit cards. The only exception to letting that speed score go red is if it is a little kid trying to count out the money; then it is just cute. 
But as a Target addict, my bill never reaches below $50, I always end up with a soy candle and mossimo tank in my cart, and I have single handedly managed to hit every clearance section of the store. I talk the lingo and even help the other guests from time to time. It drives my mother nuts. 

To celebrate this meeting of Target Anonymous I, along with the help of my beautiful sponsor Heather, are encouraging you guys to visit our retail version of crack by giving away free money to Target! YAY!  

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